Statement of the Month

I don't know why people think that a rabbits foot is so lucky. It wasn't lucky for that poor rabbit.


I knew I loved you the day we met
Everyone else was a blur but you


Four bottles down and two to go
One prayer up for the downed hero


Your Love Life

It was over before it began

Smiling: Man of The Hour

My eyes open. All I can see is green. This isn't the kind of green I'm used to in my line of work. This is grass, trees. Where the hell am I? I can see the mountain skyline. Trees all around. Birds squawking in the distance. Where the hell am I? I wonder...I begin to wonder where the lines to blur. When my trip will be done. When will I start to realize.....she's here! I can see her form in the outline. The sun behind her shines her outline so bright....so golden. I can feel my insides resonate with goodness. That's when I see who it is. It's limps. My heart sinks so low. So low I can't move. I can't breathe. April. God where's April. Limps looks at me with a smile. I fall away now.

My eyes open and I'm in my safehouse apartment. The train rushes by to blaring. I sit up and there's a note down by my door. The sun feels like a fire burning on my skin. I get up and walk by to pick up the letter. I get a smoke out and put it into my mouth. With the lighter in my hand, I grab the letter and open it up. I'm about to light up my cig and I open the letter. I'm amazed. No I'm...FUCK...I'm furious. The lady from my dreams. I'm talking about the dream. Limps. I fold up the letter and put it into my pocket. I need to round up my troops. The boys are gonna be liking this. Now I'm thinking, why the fuck would she be telling me this. Why should she even consider telling me. What the fuck is with the times? I look back at a picture from a few years ago. It's limps wth her arms around me. However as time would tell, she'd be hanging with that guy to my left. Chuck. I leave out the door thinking about what we are gonna do? It brings a smile to my face.

I get into my car. I turn the engine and put it into gear. My destination is a diner of 3rd and wabash. I want to fucking kill Chuck. All the time in the world, all the people he could be fucking over, all of the times he was just a parasite. It makes you think who can you trust. When can one go so far to be unforgiveable. A guy can do so much. A man though, you give a man a reason to pursue what he wants. He'll take it. He'll go as far as to destroy himself in the process. Hasn't this crew of mine done so already? How can we ever expect to go back. We gotta see this all the way through. We still provide service. We still are a reminder of what is real in this city. Where the power really lies. Ah here's my stop. I pull into the parking lot. What is this? I can see a white automobile parking by the eatery sign. It's limps. I pull up along side and roll down my window.

"What's shaking there limps? Where's your man of your dreams?" I ask

"How's the life going without your right hand?" she asks me

I smile.

We are both in a fucked up state.

"I've always liked you ya know," she says to me "I was young then, the times were different. It was your charm that got me started ya know."

"You're the first dame I've fallen for, but we can have this talk later. Besides april...." I start say

"You're still shaking around for that chick? You don't know do you?" she asks with a certain qualm that makes me very uncomfortable.

"Limps...I don't want to go down this road, I've been.." i reply

"No, it's not about that at all! Think about it. Where are we? We are together here because of her."

I just looked at her with no belief in what she was saying.

"She's the one who ratted you out. She's the one who 'all of a sudden back into you're life' and throws her arms up and needs you to grab on. I found Chuck and her writing to each other. This is why I needed to seek you out. I needed you to know. I wanted to make things right between us."

I'm speechless. She was right. It was all too fucking coincidental. I needed to take this...fuck. I grab for my smokes and light up. I just want to scream. I just wanted to kill. I needed answers. I needed...fuck my right hand man.

"You may think ill of me, and that's fine. I deserve it. Things between us...they aren't right, but Scat... trust me. I've already told the crew to get here." she said to me

Sure as the sun rising in the morning. Here came Cuts and Fish. More than enough to help. Next step was to outline the plan. Limps was going to tell us where and how we'd get him back. How many people would be there to greet us. How many shots we'd need. All this stuff. The nescessities.

Cuts and Fish parked on the otherside of Limps. Limps got out and got into my car. The other two got in the backseat.

"What's the plan scat?" asked Fish

"What is the plan?" I asked aloud

"He is up at the docks, in the basement. You go down two levels downstairs. As far as security goes, there's not really except there should be 4-5 guys down there. These are Chuck's best people though. I don't know how you boys wanna do this but; I've seen them, they're tough." Limps explained

"Scat, how do we trust this one?" asked Cuts

I look over my shoulder and look over to Cuts. I ask him, "you're here aren't you?" Cuts has this look in his eyes like he just fucked up.

"Well yeah, I mean I came because you're here. But this twat..." I cut off Cuts right there.

"You listen to me, you listen to what I do. Aren't you taken care of? You don't ever say that shit to me again. I dare you to, I dare both of you to. The fact of the matter is we've been in this for a long time. Not just this Chuck thing. Since way back. You all selected me, to be the one to be under the gun. So here I am. Now here's whats gonna happen. Limps is going to go back to her car. We are going to go get our comrade. Any questions?"

I was greeted by silence.

Limps exited the vehicle. She looks back at me one more time. She was scared. I don't know if she had just fucked my crew over. More or less me as well again. Maybe she was right? April being behind it all. Either way I will see this through. If he's dead well, I sure as hell know he is smiling. Because he knows we are going to be joining him very soon.

"Weapon detail...silent..blades. We need to be taking a new approach as to our usual guns blazing." I can hear everyone grabbing their blades. "In about twenty minutes we'll be there. We will be parking about 200 feet way. We are going to going in on foot. We'll have to go in the first gate, jimmy it open. But keep this shit quiet. After the first gate is open, we should be good. They usually don't close the 2nd gate so we should be good."

We roll up just a little bit away from the gate. I can see lights off in the office. I want to kill these guys. For all the shit that has lead up to this, with the doc, vids, the creeper. Motherfucker one and all, Chuck. We hustled real low and real fast. Luckily for us there were alot of corners to get here. Cuts goes up and sticks his blade into the lock and breaks it open. We walk through the gates. Just like limps said, we aren't seeing anyone.

"Fish, what's the action been in this town as of late?" I whisper

"Cops've been cracking down on loading dock drug trades. We don't have to worry about any of that though." Chuck pretty much owns this side of town. It's not quite lower class but not quite yahoo town ya know? he whispers back

We get to the office finally and start descent downstairs. We can hear two guys talking down the corridor. There are a few doors down the hallway but they look dark. I motion to Cuts to go in that room and watch the cooridor. Fish and I go in the opposite doorway. I can make out a magazine on a rack. I pick it up and throw it down in front of our door. I can hear them now come closer. These guys know the plan. My guys know the plan because we are the toughest guys in town. I can hear the clack clack of shoes coming nearer and nearer. Finally I can see one through the crack of the door. Two. Cuts opens the door! They both look over at him and thats when I tear the door open. Fish leaps on the guy on the left, I tear into the throat of this guy with my blade. Cuts is already in front; ready to lead again. The feeling returns once again; and I begin to smile.

We take a left and just like in the movies. At the end of the hallway is the one room. The room with our guy in it. We're going to get him. No excuses. I look at my guys. They're ready just like me. We are right in the front of the door. I put my hand on the door and put my ear to the door. I can hear people in there, I want to make these fuckers pay. I motion down on my hand. 3.2.1 I rip the door open. What do I see in front of me. Our guy. The right hand to our organization tied to a chair. His face bloodied and his smile still on. He looks over and sees us. That's when one guy comes up behind Fish. Fish turns around and punches the guy in the face. He kiils right over. A door opens up behind us. I turn and I can see a person come out and shoot Fish dead 3 times with a piece. I can see cuts going in to get lay a red line down em, only to be greeted with a bullet to the head. FUCK FUCK FUCK is what I'm thinking. I'm in the room now with our guy. I pull out my gun and I'm counting now. 3,4,5.2.1. I take a blind shot around the corner. BAM I can hear a thudding of a body. I poke my head out now and it's clear. I can only see the bodies of my friends. My pals. My fucking crew. These people weren't good. they're nothing but a bunch of goddamn sneaks just like their fucking leader.

I holster my gun and I untie him. I say to him. "You're the fucking man of the hour, how does it feel?" He smiles and says, "You know what I learned? There's more to this, me and you. Chuck. He's got...My body collapses. There's a cold-ness in my body. My hearing is muffled now. I turn my head to see my worst fears realized. It's April there, with a smoking barrel. I close my eyes.

I can see the mountain skyline again now. I can see the green. I look around and there she is. My savior. My redemption buried in her somewhere. I need her now. She's telling me to get up. She wants me. I need her. This is my peace I want my heaven. Suddenly it's black again. I can hear a familiar voice.

"Now you're the man of the hour."

(To be continued)

Written By E.S.G



A booty call gone wrong was I
A booty call gone bad
For one night of drinks a plenty
Was all we thought we had
That one night led to another
And soon more were to follow
Our love will last through time
Our love will last forever
You took the pill of my heart
I just hope you swallow :)


Smiling: I Aint No Joke

well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight

Bitch you an imposter
The money i be after Peepin up on my rosters i check you fuckin bastards
and if you got a problem
come and solve it I ain't no ho
cause i'm the flawless chick just thought that you should fucken know
ain't no need to question
cause it's clear that im the baddest
if you think i'm fucking joking
you can check my fucking status
i know you think we cool
but it's okay you aint' my foe
just bring it to the wood
and i'ma show you i ain't no joke

You know kc and killer (???) a thriller
i'm known for smokin men and never smokin
reggie miller
you know it's kinda (?) when we smokin on some drugs
you fuckin wit some killers bitch you fuckin wit some thugs
A-T-L real niggas M-O-B money-getters
collars, gorrillas, niggas we stackin dem bigger figures
Ain't scared to pull triggers
swangin on pussy niggers
killers see M-O-B now who the fuck think they bigger young B

well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight

This to all you down the mouth and smother me with nonsense
Talkin big and tuff but gettin nervous when my tool click
this ain't no joke and fo sho you'll get yo ass
comin at me ruff i'll run you off drippin lickin blood
I don't give a fuck I got ana to yall hate suckers
nigga you gon see me get crunk up on you motherfuckers
I'm no bussa so don't try me like no urkel nerd
when these (??????????) deserved

Yeah you shoulda listened to yo concious
now i'm comin right at cha
I'll pull yo cards like a magician nigga Abra Ca Dabra
I'm the masta of this army you can be my apprentice
and can't no nigga hurt or harm me cause they will get diminished
Bitch don't try me like a joke cause i'll correct a nigga fast
i'm a chick but i won't quit to come and whoop off in yo ass
Ain't got no time for stallin shit
you scared then you should call it quits
I'm ready and i'm deadly ho
So walk it like you talk it bitch

well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight

[Lil J]
When i'm fresh dressed (?) with some
(?) FILAs on
Bussin on yo ass we gon blast if you talkin ho
(?) fed up with my legs up in my pocket
pussy nigga what? we gon bust nigga quit da poutin
uno on yo radio M-O-B got plenty ho
crunk off on yo stage in the rage makin major do
Lil' J neva fuckin broke
J foreva stackin dough
Lil J keepin cheese and girls don't eva take him for no joke

well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight I ain't no joke I ain't no joke well aight

Some will read this and try to understand. JFK was killed by a gun. You took your time to read this with the hopes some questions will be answered. You just wasted your time. Ha ha ha ha!


The World is Coming

In the end, the world will come down to its knee's. Few will be left Smiling


Smiling: The Four Seasons



If your wondering while there is all these polls, I have the answer. If you haven't heard, a new smiling is in the works.


Smiling:Time To Dance

I look at myself in the mirror. With this fancy red tie the schnazzy suit is missing something. I grab a cigarette, place it my mouth and tuck in my pack. Perfect. The phone rings. I bend backwards to look out my window. My ride is here. The night is set.I run out and jump in. Scats is to my left. He leans over to me and says "The one night were you look handsome. But you still smell like shit, haha." I look at him quietly and respond "Well, you know how much I hate getting blood on my shirts." He chuckles and shows a smile.

We pull up to the ballroom. The building is magnificent. Its tall and gleaming of light. Shining in excellence and star power. The red carpet is rolled for the awaiting celebrities. Rockstar waltz's in with a dame who has glistening blonde hair and a feverish smile. The who of who is decked out in their best. As soon as we walk in, Santa tries to approach Scats. "Obi Scat Cat I need to have a wor-" I grab him saying sternly, "No you need to talk to me." He pushes me off gesturing to back off he's got the point. "Well do you got the money? We could use the financial banking of someone in his stature." I look him sternly in the eyes. "He hasn't decided yet." He slowly nods and walks away. I walk back over to Scats who's mingling with the Creeper. I get there in time to hear the Creeper say to Scats, "Ahh such would be too easy and predictable at galia event such as this magnificent room, is that uh hhhrm... ummm....Limp over there?" I shake the Creepers hand. Its oddly limp. Just then Limps approaches Scats. I gesture a hello to her. I put my arm around the Creeper and him guide away from the other two. "So Creeper, what brings to this fancy get together?" He looks at the floor then to me." Well" he says awkwardly, "An invitation for one thing...and to tell you that soon the dealer will share something with you." I knew he wasn't here for the fancy champagne or the beautiful young women. I stop us at the bar. I order a gin appletini and a pink murder."Well Creeper when can we expect the call?" I gesture to him the drink. He looks down to the floor again. "That would be too easy, sir you know I don't drink, and there is no we...It's you. He will have someone call you and only you tomorrow at 5pm. He requires, however, that no one knows of the incoming call. Good day sir." He ushers himself away while looking at the floor. I slam both drinks. Cuts approaches me from afar. "What did he want? Did Cool Hands say he was going to call?" I look at him, "What's your concern?" Cuts looks dumbfounded. "Nothing I guess, just curious. I'm gonna go make sure our exits are all secured." All I can think of is the news. Good news I guess. Good enough to smile.

I look over to the dance floor. Scats is dancing with Limps. Then the Titanic music stopped. Next thing you know Limps is rushing to the powder room. Scats walks over. His face is dragging.
"You see all that?"
"And more"
"Did it go well?"
"No man, I told her what was becoming."
"I'm going to let you in on something, but first drinks."
"Here's your yee-haw and my yoo-hoo, three days ago, Chuck and I were at Danny's eating some pancakes and I had decided to test Chuck."
"How did you plan to do that?"
"See I called up Limp and put her on speakerphone, so both Chuck and I could hear the whole thing, that way when Limp goes through 'Initiation', we'll see how faithful Chuck is. However when Rockstar came by after he called up Chuck to hang, he heard it as well. Then it was everyone except for you; happened to be around the place. She is still wanting Rockstar."
"Well I had to let her know, man, oh by the way, I got Creeper lined up for 'Initiation'
"Swell, (pulls out cigarette) we need to find Chuck, he's here I went to the bathroom and he was in the food aisle but I can't find him."
"Well are we gonna do Initiation tonite?"
"The night is young, and what we can do tonite can help us for tomorrow."
Rockstar and Chuck come out stage left laughing and smiling, what could be so funny? Chuck approaches the poddium with a grin the size of texas. "Ladies and Gentleman I would like to say a few things. I appreciate you coming, but it wouldn't be possible without the countless hours put forth by volunteers and organizers. So lets give a hand to them..." The crowd eats him up. "Lets also not forget the very giving Santa Claws organization, for their countless hard work making sure that people lives around the globe, are as fortunate as ours..." Applause, as the crowd further swallows the pill. "Ladies and Gentleman, I have to decided on the future for myself and I believe you as the loving people you are, should know first. I AM RUNNING FOR MAYOR!..." The crowd goes wild. Whistles and jeers across the now standing applause. Pigs to the troff. "And now to end the evening, Rockstar, will perform his saxophone piece,'What goes up must go down'." He waves his hand across the stage in Rockstars direction. As if he is ushering him in. Chucks grin is a wicked smile. Scat turns to me, "Listen I have to find Limps, I gotta make things better. Take the boys home, get some rest. The night maybe young but we my friend are getting old..."He starts to walk away then stops and turns around. "...And you don't worry, I'll get a cab tonight. See ya tomorrow." He's a love lost man trying to find his love. "You motherfucka!" A high squeal of an aging child. I turn to see Santa's little elves or rather Micheal, Johnny and Sam. They're Santa's little boys he's hired to ensure his safety. "So what you little bitches want?" They approach me like they're top shit. Micheal the leader of the three, speaks up again. "We here to collect, Santa says you need to pay. He also says someone he calls 'Jack Knife' deserves it." His voice attempts to be aggressive as his moguls circle around me. I walk right up to his face and quietly push my nine into his chest and whisper into his ear. "Listen here Micheal, tell Santa we haven't decided yet. I don't even know a Jack Knife. And I suggest that next time your boys try and surround me again use real guns instead of squirt guns. Next time you pull this shit, your buddy's here will telling about how you died limb by limb to your eigth grade buddies. Ya dig you little fuck?" He quivers in fear, "Yeah sir, I dig." Striking fear into children, now thats something to smile about.

I open my ice box and grab a cold 100 proof. I guzzle the bottle and head to bed. Who's this Jack Knife? Why Cool Hands Luke going to have someone call me and only me? The alcohol passes through and I pass out. I awake to a call. I grab the phone and answer in a grungy, hungover and slightly annoyed voice.

"Fuck you want?"
"We need to talk" Straight to business. It was Scats.
"Fuck yeah we do."
I head to his place. Its early in the morning, too early for someone hungover. I knock three times and walk in. Scats is gazing out the window.
"I found Limps" he mutters as a cloud of smoke comes pouring from his mouth.
"I figured you did" I mumble loudly.
He takes a deep breathe, "We went out for a late meal. Things went well."
I exhale and grab the nearest chair, putting my feet up on the table. "Don't leave me hanging here."
He chuckles then looks down. He raises his head only to peer out the window. "She took me to her place. I told her how beautiful she was. She looked me in the eyes and told me in a deep meaningful way, 'thank you'. She started to tear up. I asked her why she was gonna cry, and she said that no one has said that to her before. I couldn't hold back, so I moved forward and kissed her on the cheek. She pulled me in closer and kissed me on the lips. And this feeling overcame my body."
I inch my ears closer, "What feeling was that?" He turns to look at me. His eyes were watery and soft like a wet pillow. His body was more relaxed and focused. His voice arose "Peace.." He pauses for a moment. "I had for a moment, kissed an angel and received peace of the soul. We made love that night. The next morning after I was refreshed from spending a night with an angel, I awoke to hear a voice crying." His voice was becoming more and more sniffled and faint. Tears were starting to roll down from his eyes. "It was her crying in the bathroom mirror. Her face was flooding the sink like an angel peering into the sea of the damned. Thats when it hit me. I could feel my soul pull through my body. I asked her..." He gasps for air "...Its Chuck you love, its not me is it? She pulled her head from the sink to look at me in the mirror. She gasped for enough breathe to speak. Her voice weak from all the crying, 'I don't know'. She broke down even more. It was then I knew I had tainted an angel. Made light into dark. I had destroyed heaven. I lost everything right there. I have nothing." He burst into an uncontrollable mix of rage and morning. He collapsed to his knees. His hands covering his face like the devil asking for forgiveness through his tears. Then he went silent. I was finally able to speak. "You still have me, darlin'". He started laughing and laughing. He arose from his knees and placed his hand on my shoulder. He said calmly "Thank you my friend. Now to business. Was there something new you have for me?" I ash my smoke and light up another. "Yeah, our so called good friend Santa is in need."
"So he wants us to pay him more?" Scat says in a mockery.

"Yeah, I guess so, think we should do it?" I ask

"Do YOU think we should? His whole gang is a sham, I mean c'mon look at that some guy who thinks he's immortal, he'll get his just watch."

"Yeah that would be somethin' huh scat? Heheh" I comment

Scat now laughing hysterically, "Whaddya think, d'ya think that he'd roll on down here to talk to us about his financial windfall oohhhhhh" Scat says with his arms in the air. "My sister has her kid to raise, what's this guy think he is? No we don't pay him a dime more, leave it at that."

"Scat, I'm gonna go home and rest for an hour or so, should I swing by your place?" I ask

'Give me a call, see if I'm there, I might go pay my sister a visit."

"Okay, I'll do that then,"

"Santa, what kinda jerk does he think he is?" Scat exclaims in a laughing undertone

It draws out a smile out of my face

I enter the shabby apartment I found for myself. The place isn't all that bad, a leaky faucet, some broken plaster...It's all I could ever want for a guy like me. I throw off my coat on to the couch. The patio doors reveal a setting sun. I sit down and light up a cig. Kicking up my feet on my table there's a ring at my phone. I pick up.

"Hello?" I ask

"Talk to your boss yet?"

"Is this Santa?"

"Where's my money?!?"

"We aren't gonna pay you anything at all, you already get a lot out of----"

"OH YOU WILL, I have someone dear to your boss,"

I can hear something on the other side of the phone, a woman, could it be limps? Wait no, she's not even around that part of town at all....then I hear her.

"Help! Tell Scat I'm alive!"

The bullets that had riddled my body re-enter my psychological state of mind, there's no way it could be...



"Pay us at Union Triangle in two hours!"


I dial up Scat, one ring, two rings, third ring!


"Scat! We gotta pay! We gotta pay Santa!"

"What the hell are you talking about? We agreed..."

"April! I remember her voice! It sounded so clear!"

"What are you talking about? April is dead."

"I Know but I heard her! There's no way I could've forgotten that voice!"

"Get over her a soon as possible." Scat says in a gruffy voice as he hangs up the phone.

I can't even begin to imagine the sick demented smile that fuck Santa has on himself.


Smiling update

For those big into smiling-check out the collection its been updated!


Smiling Act Collection

The day has finally come. Smiling has not only been updated it has also beenn archived into one collaborative blog. Smiling will remain being posted in its original locations, however , it will also be copied and archived in the Smiling Act Collection This site is dedicated to Smiling, and only things smiling related. Enjoy!


Holding for dear life
Push others with your knife
You have, you got
Inside you rot.
Far east you want to go
As far away from your home
Breathe, sweat
When you die you lost the bet.


New Blog!!